poly

Now poly is starting afresh a new semester. I'm satisfied with my results and oh my goodness. This time our class conflict is getting more outrageous. The guy friend wanted a reconcile but i felt that it's ok that everyone makes mistakes and as long as he change himself and stop being like a child, i don't mind. But i hate it when everyone keeps talking bad about other people. I realise, although we gossip a lot, all of us doesn't understand one another well too.

So, I started to create general topics for everyone. But that gal friend of mine, another childish and sensitive person started to change topics again back to gossip. I kind of dislike this. Nobody actually listened to me. Gossip for 3 months about the same few people she still wanted to gossip. She can even talk about our ex guy friend bad traits again and again and again. What kind of friend is that. Only a small quarrel, he admited he's wrong and my guy friend cannot forgive him already. Ok can understand that because he did something really bad which is noting down his password for NYP portal to check his results. "做人要心胸广阔，何况是男的。“ After all it's his choice too. I wished he can reconcile too because i knew he would not repeat his mistakes again, not too much. Now, I find her enemy classmates are a little better. One of her enemy friend which is my ex-enemy guy friend, talk to me. What i dislike him is because, being a guy, he's so stingy and calculative in front of gals. But, he's sociable which is a good thing. Dotz and the gal friend of mine said," sociable people aren't good, he's trying to make convo." =.= obviously he's making convo~ Then she said,"he want to make convo so that he feel better doing projects since sch is restarting." I am thinking nothing wrong with that. She wanted to convince me that he is selfish and all to talk to you because school is starting soon. Aiya, that's social purpose and everyone is doing that so that they will meet at the same venue, eat together. Zzz That's my life my choice, who i want to be it's my problem. What attitude to use on which type of person is my choice. There's one time i said, " Anthony is not a bad person and all just because he liked to talk to my gal friend enemy doesn't mean he's a bad person" AND all in my gal friend mind is" Why u keep protecting him, like him izzit?" LOLx I really nothing to say because i don't want to explain to her. Now she change her mind and said,

actually, ant is afterall not a bad person

. After all the samson incident. HAIZ She once said, "

Im great at looking at people and understand people's behaviour

" If that's the case, why you can change a person's perception and impression of the person after several incident and comments by other people? Go study some psychology before you said sth like that. Aishh stop complaining. I felt childish sometimes too. Why i keep saying psychology things is that i don't like people to keep pushing me to others i don't like and assume that i like and letting the whole world to know and convince them that "i like that person". I felt that she's not respecting me. She can just play for a while i don't care but too much is too much.

Enough of her. Sometimes i felt that i also need to change my behaviour. I look at one of my best secondary school friends, she had changed to a better person. Someone sociable, kind, caring, matured. Just that her expectation of future husband is high too. Not only that she got a quite good looking face.

While i looked at myself,

• cannot talk much in some ocassions.
• quite ugly
• quite selfish
• keep having negative thoughts about some people around me
• bad temper
• bad manners
• shy
• poor
• Petty sometimes
• bad hairstyle
• calculative sometimes since im a poor child
• lazy
• no aura around me be it (pretty,sexy or cute)
• Criticise people sometimes in a jokingly manner but in a private way meaning not announcing to the whole world about ur bad habits etc.
• low confidence/ self esteem
• i hate my big thighs

Good points are

1. I am quite generous sometimes if i felt happy
2. Can do housework automatically for my parents
3. hardworking in terms of study and other stuff
4. interested in all kinds of sports, nature, culture bascically many things that i liked ( so that people won't be bored with me"
5. boring person? I don't think so. Many people said im funny but i seldom realised it until they tell me.
6. Like to sing but shy to sing infront of strangers
7. Like to dance to but shy
8. Considered average weight which i like that
9. One of my friend said im special which i liked that. :)
10. Mother said i got brains cos i can think of crazy ideas for some spoilt household items and make it useable.

I think i'm self advertising myself. PS: this is not a match- making forum.

Restart

Sometimes i feel that people don't understand me. I think poly life is getting dull each day. Everyone had reveal their weaknesses and their face behind the masks. Conflicts and all. We still got to do project with one another. Even my clique is a little psychic at times. I'm kind of tired with my clique. One guy out of jealousy, want to walk out from our mini clique called meanos. Jealous of his guy friend talking to other guy he hate. He's not gay, maybe he is but i don't know. He just hate crowds and demand people to accompany him. I think he is being a little selfish and overboard at times. Saying how he suffered. Cut his wrists, gobble down food trying to choke himself and punched his wrists on the wall. When i check his hand the next day, there's no bleeding signs. He wanted to get our attention but its getting too much that i ignore him. I felt lonely too, sometimes. But some will ignore me. However, when there are times i wanted to be alone, i dont mind. I don't like it when there's a lot of people i know around me ignore me. While when there's not a lot of people. I wanted to be alone. For example, when going out with girl friends. I hate shopping with them seriously. I dislike waiting for them and all. I wanted to be alone shopping. I find that more fun and easy to decide what i want to buy.

Yesterday, i went botanic garden with her. I really hate to follow people around aimlessly. Actually, i don't feel like going. But since she asked me i said ok. Next time i would never want to go out with her again. I felt like a mother bringing a child sometimes too. I have to think of her feelings. She doesn't like to shop but i wanted to shop. I said ok then we separate. You go home first then i continue. I don't mind like that. But she went silent because she wants company. I don't like it when everytime she shouted like a child and said "PANG SEI me" "PANG SEI me" want everyone to know im a bad person. ok. I mean everyone is a young adult already. Can't you stay alone for a short period? Although i was PS for a few days before but i never say out. Until suddenly i said can don't leave me alone behind. Then she will sort of make fun of me and said to other friend jokingly, "eh, ignore her" But sometimes i don't take jokes. I felt uncomfortable and i feel like switching friends. But it's already too late to change another new friend. After all, human beings are selfish. After that, i decide to ignore her and join other people for other topics. I realised that i clicked well with other people more because we have the common interests. She started to feel left out and angrily said,"you know im not 18 yet and want to go ladies night". Dotz Obviously she is angry and i said,"ok lo, we accompany u later" cos i felt bad too ma. Then she said," Oh im not another samson. Im not angry too." Obviously she's angry and all, I find her a little childish too. Maybe, a little taste for her to feel what is to be alone. Somehow, I wasted time with these people.

Cruise is suppose to be a fun filled event and u know what???? We stayed in the "hotel room" playing pokers. Damn it. I really don't like staying in the hotel room. There's a lot of place i wanted to explore and join in the activities but they said don't want. Later i go in they will say "why she pang sei you one?" hello, i have my personal time too. I think i dont click with Virgo people. Really. I find them super selfish. The guy friend also like that. The female friend also like tt. Even my sec gal friend also like that, we had fixed down the time to go out. I called her and she was still sleeping at home. WTF and she canceled the event and didn't say sorry at all!! I'm so angry but i don't talk to her anymore. But i think i recently talk to her and she said she miss me as a friend. So ok, i talk to her and ask her out and i said, $8 for the meal outside. SHE SAID SO EXPENSIVE. Now i know she's a calculative person. Zzz $8 is considered cheap for outside meal already. Im not a rich person but i know that restaurant meal is suppose to be $20+. Her birthday bash also. WAhhz First time went to their mini party with her church friends, and two church friends brought two chairs outside the door as a "receptionist" to collect $8 for a buffet. SUPER no respect for new faces and other old churchgoers. I don't even know need to pay and they can set up a booth outside. I think is rude to collect money in the first place. SELFISH people. dotz. I mingle with the people there. One of the selfish people i mingled, she said she's a psychology student. And she had super no respect for me too. Im sitting in between her and my friend. She was talking to her across with her for the whole session. Not that i never talk. I tried to make jokes and she ignore me. WTF. did i offend u? zzz.. A failed psychology student. She's also one of the person who sit outside collecting money. I never want to visit any more church.

The church people atmosphere is weird too. Why organise a party when not everyone is close with one another and doesn't want to talk to another people. I felt weird myself too. The teenagers is super weird and selfish. Except for two of them which is coincidentally the same poly as mine.

R & J

Wow i love this poem/rhyme from Romeo and Juliet Act I

My only love sprung from my only hate!
Too early seen unknown, and known too late!
Prodigious birth of love it is to me,
That I must love a loathed enemy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ROMEO
[To JULIET] If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

JULIET
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

ROMEO
Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

JULIET
Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

ROMEO
O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

JULIET
Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

ROMEO
Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.

JULIET
Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

ROMEO
Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!
Give me my sin again.

JULIET
You kiss by the book.

Work was tiring today. But was fun la. Cos got good people around me. Today was so funny lo. shant elaborate. Will talk until daybreak. I did not jog today and i gained 1kg!! Nevermind... Was looking forward to the IT show on Sunday. Planned to buy a laptop for polytechnic. Is that really a requirement? Haiz.. I do not think so worz. Since mine is only banking and finance course then it shouldn't be a problem ba. There aren't any software to install and so on. I only need microsoft that's all will do. Unless i am doing accounting lo. But i don't think my course would require much of that software ba. =.= I still have not hand in my polytechnic sheets of paper yet. So troublesome, i got to go down to the bank to acknowledge my thumbprint. Super sien.. And also sat got wedding dinner which is shiok but seeing those people makes me sien too. But life goes on. I will work harder to achieve my goal!

sleepless night

I can't sleep for 1-2 hours yesterday cos of those fking people. This is the first time i use such words on ppl like this.

I had been thinking why i hate them so much before that i come to a conclusion that i don't want to join them for any outing starting this year 2010. Thinking and thinking... Then i thought of the past. In my 10 to 11 years old, i remember vividly going to my uncle's house to help him spring cleaning since he moved to a new house. He treated us buffet. Some cheap ones. We were playing in his room. Then we got hungry so i went to grab some chicken wings. "They" ask me to help them take some too. So okay lor since i am on my way. Then i grab some, got scolded by uncle. He: where did you eat the chicken wings? Me: Inside your room. He: Why you eat in my room?! IT'S SO OILY!!! Me: They ask me to help them take also. He: But you shouldn't have take it into my room! (*SHOUTS SHOUT SHOUTS) Those bastards and bitches doesn't even come out and admit their wrong doings. Never mind i suay lo.

Next, we went swimming at big splash. At the wavy pool there i lost my rhythm in the wave and almost got drown that i had to grab others hands to catch a breath.And i came up i saw Damn Lim laughing. Fk you! I almost drown u never even save me and u were there laughing.

Next, my birthday. I finally know why they gave me that bundle of money. BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT I AM A MONEY FACE PERSON. That i could not get any present and i was angry? Please la i admit i am a bit materialistic but depends on situation lor. I won't force people to celebrate my birthday did i? I only say my birthday is when that does not mean i really want present but if you want to give i don't mind. I know receiving presents from you people have to come with a price one. Either, i have to return one to u or i have to listen to your commands cos i cannot talk back to you right? And your money really hurts my pride lei. You think charity donation? Money cannot solve all problems maybe can only solve ur problem. Kid, think about ur actions la. Where got people give money on their birthday? Look down on me huh? Your brain is that narrow? IQ high but EQ so low. Mind your own manners also la. Say such things on people's birthday and still want to teach other people how to behave. So kiam dun come lorh. Not like i didn't accommodate to your convenience and i wanted so much to come lo. Stand there doing nothing at all. Waiting for my ans... whats there to wait anyway? I gave u ans already not like you care to suit my interests. You only care about ur pocket money and your own present during your birthday. Bingo right? You all don't want to celebrate cos u all are afraid u lose out cos you want something in return right? I dun get why you all come anyway? The main thing is not celebrate my birthday but i know is some other reasons.

After that, you want to invite me to your room. Okay lor, see each other once a year thingy. You said,"On my birthday, i will treat all of you" It really hurts you know? I just recover myself and you invite me to agitate me again? And that sentence you made it the same as hinting me that i didn't treat you on my birthday is it? You want to make things ugly? Keep the money for urself lo, I take the money u all got the chance to say I am such money face person so on. I give back both parties will be overjoyed that you celebrate right after i left immediately right. You think i am so stingy person? I won't waste a single cent on people who don't deserve it and bully me any other time.

Funny thing, you all were still so happy chit chatting and drinking while someone close is unhappy and missing on the other side? Not an apology is acknowledge? I admit i was wrong to walk away so suddenly but you all were even more unforgivable to behave like a child on someone's birthday. "Don't go la so expensive" "I eat before not nice" "All of you only care about urself right? Say what sincere? check the dictionary what it means before u use it. Celebrating right after the bitch had gone home? Never mind, a lesson learnt... Thanks a lot for the present.

I have got a nice memorable birthday today! woots i swear! I make a complete fool of myself. Hell! I am not going to spend any of my time with "them" anymore and will not
"qian jiu" them. It's too much le. I feel like blogging this ugly matter for long time ago as i cannot tahan them. I swear in my heart that i will not go out with them anymore. Then new year day they jio me go out for movie. i reject thousand times then i give up to them. But since it already happen so be it. Why must make things until so ugly? Have you ever encounter people forking out money in front of you before on your birthday? Okay thats kind of acceptable. But, what kind of birthday is this when you are not celebrating what you like on this special day" Did you heard celebrators say," "this and this is so ex", "go kfc la" Ok i suit with all of you loh let's go to kfc and celebrate. Then you all tell me, eh dun like this la seriously choose something you like" You tell me this when all the shops are closed on Chinese new year day??? I say anything le go kfc let's go. Then you all walk one round in the mac and come back on the same spot again and look at me. Like it's my fault. I never asked all of you to spend this F-ing birthday with me lei! Please la. You say yourself sincerity? Where is that? "Throw" me the money and yay! this is your birthday gift??! You treat me as what? Money face ar?

I come back without any apology from them. F up! Firstly, i never said i wanted to join them for movies and birthday i said no need to celebrate for me. And you throw me the money and call this a celebration. Wah, never mind they are all kids from the same age as me i dun wanna talk to them about growing up stuff. Duno how to "zuo ren" one. So kiam siap then don't celebrate loh. Organise this fking thing make my day even worst. "Almost close" to family members need to make things until like that meh? Anyway i dun treat them as my "almost close family members" anymore. They also dun treat me as one ma. I heard them said("friends" let's go). I was thinking, huh friends? Alright maybe we're not that close at all. So stingy might as well dun come and celebrate at all. FUCK sia. After 18 years, i finally vent it off. I am damn shuang! woots. I give them a firm no no to their invitation liao, all of them only know to be in their own groups then go for ur own outing lar, why invite insignificant people to this group when u dun wan to talk to them and share decisions? So old liao still duno how to think. I think they should just go out and meet more "ugly" people like them. Diaoz.

JJ lin 跟屁虫

Really like JJ lin very funny at the beginning with Indian Singlish and also

in the middle of the track.

LOL I say do you say do~eevverything you kopi me ar? Don like this noe!

Anyways, i was thinking of buying this Samsung ST550 camera.

What attracts me was this dual LCD. Didn't know it was the first dual in the world.

But after looking all the reviews and specifications none talk about the battery life.

I think it will consume a lot of the battery juices.